No, this is not a recipe post. This is about one of my favorite ways to spend Friday night – at a potluck.
I’ve organized a few family potlucks for my shul, and every time I do, I wish we had them more often. Here are my top 10 5 reasons why, in no particular order.
1. I love only having to prepare one dish. (I almost always bring this noodle kugel.)
2. I love trying other people’s signature potluck dishes. Last time someone brought an amazing spelt salad, and this time, well…..we had three different kinds of pizza.
3. I love having a chance to shmooze with a tableful of grownups. The conversation is exponentially more interesting than with just two couples, the maximum we can fit at our table.
4. Everyone (or almost everyone) pitches in to clean up.
5. FREE BABYSITTERS! (I insist on the shul hiring babysitters to play with the kids after dinner if I’m going to volunteer to lead the rest of the program.) This allows #3 to actually take place.
A few tips for a successful shabbat potluck:
1. Don’t count on someone to bring the grape juice and challah. The organizer should take care of the ritual needs, so you don’t worry someone not showing up.
2. If your synagogue doesn’t allow potlucks in the actual kitchen for kashrut reasons, buy a few inexpensive serving pieces to have on hand for the people who forget.
3. The only real downside to a potluck is the risk that there won’t be enough food, or too much of one thing (dessert, for example), and not enough of another. There are a few ways to help prevent this – either assign parts of the meal according to least name (A-F bring drinks, G-N bring entrees, etc.) There’s also a nifty online potluck organizer that works really well if you can rely on people to sign up ahead of time.
4. Wine makes shabbat even better (in my personal opinion.) If you can’t write BYOB on the flyer, at least drop a few hints.
Rats. I meant to go to that one. I thought it was next week. I really need to start adding them to the calendar when you send those emails…
I have a couple of really great vegetarian indian dishes that I think would work well for a potluck. Not having attended more than 1 or 2, I don’t yet have a “signature” potluck dish, but I really ought to work one out.
You are right, potlucks are the best. Any time that someone else cooks for you, actually.
I have had a few potluck snafus where people thought, for some reason that “chicken” in fact falls under the category of “vegetarian.” Humm.
Also, thanks for the sidebar link. YOU RULE.
Funny, we’ve been having (non-shabbat) potlucks recently at our house (large enough to easily accommodate three families) & it’s been so much fun. There’s a tiny effort for rounded meal purposes. But always feels like we get way more than food out of the deal. We get those great conversations & the kids find new connections…
Is that what community is supposed to feel like?I think, yes.
love the idea of hiring babysitters for the kids.
Even better, they are teens from the community-
By far, the pot-luck concept is what made Shabbat’s so palatable (sorry, couldn’t resist) for our family (and extended family and friends).
We’ve been meeting weekly for over 7 years now. We are blessed to have room for kids to spread out and be comfortable, and for adults to have an area to shmooze but also keep an eye on the kid situation. But in the past we’ve met in different houses and, like any good family, you “make it work” no matter how much or how little space there is.
We don’t hire babysitters per se, but we’ve (collectively) got a range of kids so that we can ask someone to help out as needed.
The one twist on things is that my wife and I look at the Torah portion a week ahead, and pick one aspect that becomes the food theme. So (for example) this coming week is Korach. In the past we’ve had “foods that are swallowed up”, “aromatic foods” (because of he fire pans), “blooming food”, etc. We try to keep the theme general enough that people can have fun with it, and that it could apply to appetizer, veggie, salad, dessert, etc.
Once food is served the adults sit down to Torah study – we have a supply of different translations so that people get a sense of the variations in the text. If we are lucky we have a Hebrew reader or two with us as well.
For the kids, I run a shorter session while the adults are eating appetizers, usually with the teens and tweens. We focus on one specific aspect of the Torah portion and (if I’m really on my game) it even involves an activity. I shy away from “crafty” stuff because that’s just not me. I prefer things that get the kids interacting with adults. Like finding an adult and asking them what part of themselves they had buried as a teenager, that they now wish they had let grow and bloom.
To your point about organizer’s responsibility, we’ve found that:
1) we have to handle the plates, flatware, paper goods, coffee and wine.
2) the Torah offers us chances to encourage others to bring donations (when it fits the portion), and we do so – people bring supplies as their heart moves them.
3) we’ve learned a lot about both flexibility and firmness regarding our house. We have to allow for the way other people live so that our house is inviting and hospitable, but we also have to be firm enough to put our foot down about things like where food is and isn’t permitted (like the bedrooms!), etc.
It is *a lot* of work, to be sure. My family and I have given up going out to dinner, movies more than once or twice a year, and even family vacations so that we have the budget to do this week to week. The payback is that we get a “vacation” and a special dinner every week, which has the added benefit of being shared with friends. On top of that, our kids get to see their parents actively engaged with Shabbat and Torah on a regular basis. They have a model for what lifelong Jewish learning can look like.
We like to joke that in the future, our kids’ spouses will come home on Friday asking what’s for dinner, and our kids will say “I haven’t read the Torah portion yet so I have no idea what to make!”
Leon
http://www.torahdinner.com