Ella has the flu and no appetite to speak of. My mom’s advice? Jell-o. Ever the only-somewhat-dutiful daughter, I went to the local co-op and asked for “something resembling jello, but not jello.” They knew just what I meant, and sent me home with 2 boxes of this. Kosher, vegan, “jel dessert” with no artifical colors or flavors. Just what the doctor ordered.
It looks like this. For about a minute, until my flu-y daughter gobbles it down. (I mean, to the extent that you can call jello-eating “gobbling.” I guess it’s more like shlurpling. )Anyway, she’s on her third bowl. It has virtually no nutritious value, just like real Jell-o, but at least it’s not full of poisons and animal bones.
When I was pregnant, I fully expected to keep my kids away from tv for a good, long time. I managed to live up to this goal for about a year. That’s not to say that I didn’t watch tv while breastfeeding, especially once Ella became too active for me to read or use the computer while she was latched on. But I never actually planted her in front of the tube. However, shortly after Ella turned one, I became pregnant with her sister Zoe. Suffering (and I do mean suffering) from nausea and exhaustion for most of those nine months, while her daily naps simultaneously dropped from 3 at their peak, to 2, and finally to 1, suddenly I needed help, and 16.99 for a Baby Einstein dvd was a lot cheaper than a babysitter.
Did I think the dvd’s would make her smarter? Did I expect her to learn anything, other than the fact the mommy is only human? No. I chose the dvd’s because they were colorful, much slower paced than most tv (Miffy and that guy on PBS who used to teach people how to paint excluded, of course), and not too-too annoying. At least not the first 50 times or so.
Disney, however, made some lofty claims about the Baby Einstein series, which are well-documented here. Here’s one testimonial that ran on their website: My son, JJ, was born a month premature and was hospitalized for about 2 1/2 weeks. Some of the medications he was on can cause some delays and learning disabilities. He first received the Baby Einstein video at two months old. The first thing I noticed was how quickly it captured his attention. I also noticed how it increased the length of his attention span significantly. Unlike in the diet ads, nowhere did it say “results not typical.”
After threat of a class-action lawsuit, Disney agreed to offer a full refund for up to four dvd’s. That’s $67.96 that I never expected to see again (assuming I even bought the dvd’s, when in fact, I think we received them all as gifts.) All of which leaves me with a dilemma worthy of some real shakla vetarya (talmudic back and forth.) Even though I never believed the false advertising, am I entitled to the rebate? On the one hand, I applaud Disney’s being held accountable for deceptive sales practices. On the other hand, the rebate offer specifically stipulates “If you are not satisfied with the Baby Einstein dvd you purchased….” And I was satisfied. Totally satisfied.
So, readers, what do you think? Send the dvd’s back, or not?
My mom sent me a link to a wonderful article by Anne Roiphe for grandparents.com, called Grandmothers Should Be Seen and Not Heard. It’s written for grandmothers, but it actually was a wonderful read for me. I wish I didn’t agree with almost everything she said, but I do. My mom is a superb bubbe, and I know that she thinks I’m a wonderful mom, but I still can’t handle her criticisms, or even her suggestions (even the good ones), very gracefully. The comments on the article are all from grandparents – I’d love to hear what some moms think about it.
Of course, I too need to be reminded to shut up from time to time. Here’s a great poem to that effect (sort of) that I read on the bullseye, baby blog. Warning: contains the f word a few times. Thanks, Jena!
Today, after school, I took my girls to a book fair with 16 local authors and illustrators. We got to meet and talk to Jane Dyer, Rich Michelson, Mo Willems (gasp) and Patricia Maclachlan (author of Sarah, Plain and Tall) and a dozen others, in a tiny school gymnasium. And it wasn’t even crowded. I shelled out $50 in the course of a few minutes, and could easily have spent $500 if I had the funds.
My daughters sort of think everyone’s an author, and don’t get that it’s a much bigger deal to get a signed book from the author of Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus than the author of A Mezuzah on the Door. But me? I’m star struck.
One of my all time favorite casseroles, posted by request for our shabbat guests this week. I can’t believe I didn’t take a picture, to prove how unappealing it looks. But….YUM. And while it has more prepared products in one dish than I usually use in an entire week, it’s also the kind of entree you can throw together when you get home from work at 4 and shabbat starts at 5:30…..
My favorite part is the hominy. It makes me think of Jackie Gleason every time I say it.
Now we face the real dilemma – what to do with all this candy? While we usually have cookies in the house, and occasionally ice cream, we don’t ever buy candy. My children have had so little in their lifetime, that at every house we went to, Zoe (my self-described treat-atarian) would point to the candy in the bowl and ask wonderously, like the simple son at the seder, “what is this?”Most candy-givers would patiently try to describe of the confection, but after seeing no glimmer of recognition on her face, they would look upon her with pity and exclaim something like “It’s good! You’ll like it!” (and then, more softly….”you poor, deprived child.”)
My husband and I decided that candy will be freely given for the next week (well, one or two pieces a day) and then removed from the premises. I explained this to the girls while we were trick or treating, and it in no way dampened their enthusiasm for collecting 13 pounds of crap. Each. But they did want to know what we would do with the rest. Since I didn’t want to tell them that we would probably take it to work, I asked them what they thought we should do with it.
“Can we save it for special occasions?” asked Ella.
“How about shabbat?” I suggested.
“YESSSSS,” they exclaimed, in unison.
I may have spoken before I thought this through. In any case, do stay tuned for the future adventures of Home Shuling and her shabbat crap fests.
ps – would love hear how the rest of you handle the heaps of candy
In my daughter’s day school, talk of Halloween is off-limits, because of its origin as a pagan holiday. If I had to guess, I would bet that 96% of the 100 students who attend her school celebrate the holiday, which, judging from the number of gravestones popping up on our neighbors’ lawns, is taken far more seriously in New England than it was in Baltimore, where I grew up. Still, she’s been instructed not to discuss her cheerleader costume (thank God – how can I live that one down?) between the hours of 8 and 3:15 for the next week. Mama, however, will definitely post pictures.
I’ve blogged earlier about my general indifference to the holiday, but I don’t really have a well-articulated opinion about whether it’s too pagan for us Jews. Frankly, it seems to me that lots of our own traditions have vaguely pagan-y origins, and our celebrations are all the richer for it. (But please don’t ask me to back up that statement with any actual facts.) There are lots of reasons that I’m firmly opposed to pretending that Christian holidays are secular, but Halloween? It’s just not my issue.
Fortunately, others far wiser and more thoughtful than I have blogged about the topic. Check out this post by Rabbi Brad Hirschfield of CLAL, an Orthodox Rabbi who manages to be open minded and wise about everything from Hitler to circumcision. Plus, I used to daven with him.
Despite our green instincts, we bought paper cups for our annual sukkah party. I took out a sharpee so that people could label their cups, rather than reaching for a new one each time they put one down, and Ella asked if she could decorate them.
She returned with a set of what I like to call “Ushpizin Cups”, pictures of various characters from the Tanakh (Bible) who are “invited” to the sukkah as part of the mystical tradition of kabbalah. She came up with close to twenty different scenes.
Can you guess which of the Ushpizin this is and what he is doing?
My appreciation of shabbat has increased about a zillion percent since going back to work full time. While I’m not as traditionally observant as I once was (you know, before I married a goy), I take the idea of a day off from my job very seriously. While it’s not technically prohibited, I will not open a text book for 25 hours. Now I’m looking forward to spending shabbat doing the things I used to do during the week (and kvetch about, at that.) Here’s to a shabbat spent giving the girls a bath, putting away stacks of laundry, and just being home.
Here’s a Lcha Dodi I haven’t been able to get out of my head all day.
After blogging for eight months, I’m beginning to discover that I have readers who aren’t, you know, my mom.
When I was pregnant, I fully expected to keep my kids away from tv for a good, long time. I managed to live up to this goal for about a year. That’s not to say that I didn’t watch tv while breastfeeding, especially once Ella became too active for me to read or use the computer while she was latched on. But I never actually planted her in front of the tube. However, shortly after Ella turned one, I became pregnant with her sister Zoe. Suffering (and I do mean suffering) from nausea and exhaustion for most of those nine months, while her daily naps simultaneously dropped from 3 at their peak, to 2, and finally to 1, suddenly I needed help, and 16.99 for a Baby Einstein dvd was a lot cheaper than a babysitter.
My mom sent me a link to a wonderful article by Anne Roiphe for grandparents.com, called 
Today, after school, I took my girls to a book fair with 16 local authors and illustrators. We got to meet and talk to Jane Dyer, Rich Michelson, Mo Willems (gasp) and Patricia Maclachlan (author of Sarah, Plain and Tall) and a dozen others, in a tiny school gymnasium. And it wasn’t even crowded. I shelled out $50 in the course of a few minutes, and could easily have spent $500 if I had the funds.
Clue – he’s the little one, not the big one.
